Surroundings

intentions vs resolutions

I’ve been thinking a lot about human nature– that is, the nature of each of us. Many folks in my life have folks in their lives they wish would change, right now. And I was thinking how very hard change is. Folks tend to change only when they want something badly enough, or very badly want something to stop, and are willing to trade the potential payoff for the potential consequences.

 

I remember long ago in therapy, I learned that if I changed what I was doing, I might indirectly change how a relationship or interaction was going too simply because I was no longer doing my part in the dance. I also remember how many months and years I sat with that knowledge without having the guts to put it to use, afraid of what would happen, afraid of consequences, afraid, in fact, of the very change I hoped for.

 

I am not sure why I am writing about this now, except for some current upheaval and events in the relationships of my beloveds (not me, thank god, all is solid here). But perhaps also because I feel compassion for all involved…because I feel my own reluctance to change, even when faced with opportunity.  I tend to choose what I know, even if  what I know does not work as well as I would like.

 

As I look to the new year, I will state this intention: I intend and hope that I will begin to make choices not only based on familiarity/old habits and patterns, the great regression, but to take a chance every once in a while and choose some new path, some new way, something that pulls instead of pushes, something that moves me in the direction of how I want to feel. Even thinking about it/writing about it makes me feel a little tired and a little scared. What if my choices are wrong? Or if things don’t work out? What if I make a mistake? (one of my top ten pain-in-the-ass issues of this lifetime: fear of making mistakes)

The power in my intention is that I know I am scared, but I am also acutely aware that many of my choices/responses/reactions this year did not support my highest and best, at least, not the holistic way I’d like.  How can I best support myself emotionally and spiritually? How can I create more energy instead of less? How can I create the best environment for positive change and evolution? What small steps can I take that move me in the right direction(s), without triggering my “run away run away” fear response?

 

How about you? As you look to the new year, what are you thinking?  Not resolutions per se, but what mindful intention are you putting out there?

 

Funny thing about resolutions: They sound so nicely tied up, don’t they? As if via resolutions something(s) get Resolved. Not so much.

 

Join me in some self-compassion, and some mindful intention(s): What small steps can you take to support your highest and best (in the context of your reality people, not some woo woo unicorns and rainbows universe)?

 

Wishing you all the happiest healthiest most personally prosperous all-good-dreams-come-true New Year. 

 

Moonrise

Tonight there is a big wonderful moon, and the air is very cold all of a sudden after some crazy warm weather. Tomorrow evening is opening campfire for the free-form creativity weekend– a manifestation of my idea to create a virtual gathering of folks from all over, doing creative work.  I feel so strongly about this but have such a hard time articulating my vision. I wonder why that is? Here is the nutshell:
Spend a little time creating this weekend.

And along the way, please, stop by, let me know what you’re up to.

 

 

 

Mid December Campfire Invitation! December 9-11, 2011

You are invited to the Mid-December Campfire!

 

Please join me in adding some light to this dark season with our second

virtual creativity workshop!

 

When: December 9-11, 2011

Where: www.thatplacewego.blogspot.com

What: A totally free, open hearted on-line gathering of like-minded people!

 

The idea of the campfire began while Squam Art Workshops was taking place

close by and impossibly far, and I realized just how deeply I felt a longing

to be connected to other creative people, in a space that supported creative

exploration with beautiful scenery, amazing food, and opportunity to try new

things.  I realized that even if I could not sign up to attend a real-life

workshop, that did not mean I could not gather with like minded folks,

joining energies to create our own space and intention to take some time to

explore, move projects ahead, try new things, make messes, meet new people,

take risks, or just fold into the welcoming arms of a beloved project.  We

had a great time, and I hope you’ll consider stopping by!

 

Come join me for a weekend of mindful creativity, of music,  of mugs of

chocolate or tea or chai or yerba mate or coffee, of sky gazing, of navel

gazing, of painting or writing or thinking or sewing or imagining or trying

out that new software, that strange setting on your camera, that

needlepoint, that pair of purple tights with those red shoes, that walk in

the woods….

 

Creativity take so many forms, and there is no one right way– just come and

join us, knowing folks around the globe are taking time, moments, hours,

whatever time possible in the context of real life to take part in creative

endeavors. If we wait until everything is perfect we’ll never do it. So,

please join us! The energy of shared experience is magical, I promise.

 

Opening campfire, Friday evening, December 9th (or whenever you arrive!)

 

Please pass this invitation along to folks who you think might want to join

us. I look forward to seeing you there!

A gift: Trust Tending and the Internet

Go here, read this.
Quick, beautiful, profound, true.

Trust Tending and the Internet.

Crunch

I realize, once again, that I have put myself in a position where I don’t feel I can do my best for everyone I have said yes to. So I am strategizing. Trying to figure out how I can salvage the situation to make myself feel better, more under control, more capable, less conflicted.

It starts with time. Do I have enough? How do I make more available? What is the tradeoff? Is it worth it?
And it also starts with a simple question that makes me uncomfortable:

Is this bringing me more joy and satisfaction or less?

An invitation

An invitation: September 16-18, 2011

When I think of art workshops and retreats, I think of beautiful destinations, great food, time set aside specifically for creating and delving into what it means to be a creative person. I think of companionship, of risk taking, of moving a project or idea back off the shadowy shelves and out into daylight…I think of trying new things, meeting new people, being out of my comfort zone, and finding renewed joy in exercising old or new skills and techniques, or new projects and ideas…

Sometimes these real-life retreats are possible- I pack and go and delve into the experience with a whole (often scared) heart, delighting in having the time and resources to be able to commit to three whole days of creative hootenany. Sometimes, much more often in fact, workshops and retreats, even online workshops, are just not possible. I cannot commit the time, the money, or the energy to make them work.

I’m feeling sad that I am missing Squam this year, even though it was not a simple experience for me, it was very pivotal. And I started to think about what I could create to fill that space for myself this year. I began to imagine time, this weekend, for me to set aside for mindfulness, contemplation, creativity. And then I realized I could invite you to come too!

I panicked: but it is not all polished and perfect and beautiful. It is not packaged, whole, and just barely an idea.

Yes, it is just an idea, a last minute idea, unpolished, imperfect, and beautiful. And I am inviting you to come and share and create this experience with me.

So, I invite you to gather at a new site this weekend, that place we go, supporting each other in a make-our-own weekend creativity workshop. Dust off that project that you’ve set aside (even if it is only in your mind and heart), take that one step toward trying something new, find your brushes, your pen, your imagination, your connection to the wider community of folks who create.

Meet me at that place we go for the opening campfire tonight once night falls. Let’s come together to enjoy a weekend of creative endeavors, good food, great companionship, and the delight in shared experience, even if we are meeting up from all over the globe.

We’ll make it up as we go along– all that is needed is an open heart, curiousity, and a few bits of time. Please join me!

slingshot boomerang

it has to do with what we put out there

it has to do with what, sometimes, comes back

sometimes the gifts are immediate, a thank you, praise, a smile

sometimes the gifts are a long time coming, like the joke you get a week after the party, or the realization, slowly or suddenly or almost too quietly to hear that time has passed, things need tending, there is a garden waiting.

yes I see weeds, i’ve seen weeds for months and months and months…but my slow realization, my soul realization is that the weeds ARE the garden this year

this tangled mess

this wild grapevine reaching across the sidewalk toward the street, toward the river

the importance of making messes

One of the things I do is paint.

My favorite moment (not because it is fun, but because it indicates a turning point in my process) is the moment in which I have made such a mess that I am uncertain if anything good can ever come of it. Almost always, that is when the painting, the true painting, starts to emerge from the gunk.

This is true in all of my creative endeavors– writing, oh yeah, the messes I make on my journey…. epic. Ugly. Frightening. The kind of frightening that makes me wonder if I am good at this at all, why I am wasting my time, certain all is lost.

But almost always that is when it turns around. I start to gather pieces, and start to make some sense of it. This is not about brute force, but more about allowing, about patience, about trusting the process. (SCARY STUFF THIS).

Life is like this too sometimes. For me, right now, I am up to my knees in mess. BUT I am also aware that this process of laying it all down, sticking to the process of following the of rhythm that is at the heart of this…the wild guesses, the intuitive leaps, the worry, the blind exploration, the inherent process of considering, changing, rearranging, chosing differently… this process is exactly what is necessary in order to allow my life to become what I want it to be.  I may have no idea right now where it is going or how I will get there. I can be scared and still keep going. I can choose to go slowly. To be more deliberate. Take more resting time, to step back, take stock, consider.

How about you? Does your creative process have a mess making stage? A moment where it all feels futile, lost, beyond recovery? And then, suddenly, it starts to come together?

Amazing resource! Seek Your Course…

Beloved tribe member Jess Greene has created a wonderful resource: a website that you can search for online and in-person courses, trainings, gatherings  called Seek Your Course!

Check it out, pass it on, and if you’ve got something to offer, register!  What a great way to search for soul food in one beautiful well designed place.  Thanks Jess!