I remember long ago in therapy, I learned that if I changed what I was doing, I might indirectly change how a relationship or interaction was going too simply because I was no longer doing my part in the dance. I also remember how many months and years I sat with that knowledge without having the guts to put it to use, afraid of what would happen, afraid of consequences, afraid, in fact, of the very change I hoped for.

I am not sure why I am writing about this now, except for some current upheaval and events in the relationships of my beloveds (not me, thank god, all is solid here). But perhaps also because I feel compassion for all involved…because I feel my own reluctance to change, even when faced with opportunity.  I tend to choose what I know, even if  what I know does not work as well as I would like.

As I look to the new year, I will state this intention: I intend and hope that I will begin to make choices not only based on familiarity/old habits and patterns, the great regression, but to take a chance every once in a while and choose some new path, some new way, something that pulls instead of pushes, something that moves me in the direction of how I want to feel. Even thinking about it/writing about it makes me feel a little tired and a little scared. What if my choices are wrong? Or if things don’t work out? What if I make a mistake? (one of my top ten pain-in-the-ass issues of this lifetime: fear of making mistakes)

The power in my intention is that I know I am scared, but I am also acutely aware that many of my choices/responses/reactions this year did not support my highest and best, at least, not the holistic way I’d like.  How can I best support myself emotionally and spiritually? How can I create more energy instead of less? How can I create the best environment for positive change and evolution? What small steps can I take that move me in the right direction(s), without triggering my “run away run away” fear response?

How about you? As you look to the new year, what are you thinking?  Not resolutions per se, but what mindful intention are you putting out there?

Funny thing about resolutions: They sound so nicely tied up, don’t they? As if via resolutions something(s) get Resolved. Not so much.

Join me in some self-compassion, and some mindful intention(s): What small steps can you take to support your highest and best (in the context of your reality people, not some woo woo unicorns and rainbows universe)?

Wishing you all the happiest healthiest most personally prosperous all-good-dreams-come-true New Year. 

And along the way, please, stop by, let me know what you’re up to.

You are invited to the Mid-December Campfire!

Please join me in adding some light to this dark season with our second

virtual creativity workshop!

When: December 9-11, 2011

Where: www.thatplacewego.blogspot.com

What: A totally free, open hearted on-line gathering of like-minded people!

The idea of the campfire began while Squam Art Workshops was taking place

close by and impossibly far, and I realized just how deeply I felt a longing

to be connected to other creative people, in a space that supported creative

exploration with beautiful scenery, amazing food, and opportunity to try new

things.  I realized that even if I could not sign up to attend a real-life

workshop, that did not mean I could not gather with like minded folks,

joining energies to create our own space and intention to take some time to

explore, move projects ahead, try new things, make messes, meet new people,

take risks, or just fold into the welcoming arms of a beloved project.  We

had a great time, and I hope you’ll consider stopping by!

Come join me for a weekend of mindful creativity, of music,  of mugs of

chocolate or tea or chai or yerba mate or coffee, of sky gazing, of navel

gazing, of painting or writing or thinking or sewing or imagining or trying

out that new software, that strange setting on your camera, that

needlepoint, that pair of purple tights with those red shoes, that walk in

the woods….

Creativity take so many forms, and there is no one right way– just come and

join us, knowing folks around the globe are taking time, moments, hours,

whatever time possible in the context of real life to take part in creative

endeavors. If we wait until everything is perfect we’ll never do it. So,

please join us! The energy of shared experience is magical, I promise.

Opening campfire, Friday evening, December 9th (or whenever you arrive!)

Please pass this invitation along to folks who you think might want to join

us. I look forward to seeing you there!

Trust Tending and the Internet.

It starts with time. Do I have enough? How do I make more available? What is the tradeoff? Is it worth it?
And it also starts with a simple question that makes me uncomfortable:

Is this bringing me more joy and satisfaction or less?

it has to do with what, sometimes, comes back

sometimes the gifts are immediate, a thank you, praise, a smile

sometimes the gifts are a long time coming, like the joke you get a week after the party, or the realization, slowly or suddenly or almost too quietly to hear that time has passed, things need tending, there is a garden waiting.

yes I see weeds, i’ve seen weeds for months and months and months…but my slow realization, my soul realization is that the weeds ARE the garden this year

this tangled mess

this wild grapevine reaching across the sidewalk toward the street, toward the river

Check it out, pass it on, and if you’ve got something to offer, register!  What a great way to search for soul food in one beautiful well designed place.  Thanks Jess!