cycles

yesterday was a heavy day, a day of sinking, of energy pulling down and in

it was a day where I had a hard time accessing my lightness

my yeses

my connections

motion

I finally lay down for an hour, head buzzing, wishing I could sleep. the heavy also meant cold, and a walk had not shaken me loose.

today I woke up and my shower was short and cool, not long and hot like I dreamed of

but I got out, scrubbed off with a towel

and decided that today, energy will flow through, not out

that today lightness will resonate with lightness

that motion will resonate with motion

and already, I have sat still with my face in the rising sun long enough to feel the warmth

and already, I have danced in the living room

the sun is not yet over the pines and today already feels more alive than yesterday.

The question for me: is there some way I can either knock myself out of the downward pull? or is there some way to embrace it as a necessary part of the cycle of energy?

Today, I invite energy to move in and through, filling up my empty places, enlivening me into clarity and action,

Today, I want to remember all that I know to be true in bringing me back home to my best self:  bounce, paint/draw/scribble, read, write, move, seek light, seek warmth, seek comfort, plan, map, imagine, see

Multiply Interrupted: Living a Creative Life Anyway (a guided meditation)

I am very excited to announce I have a guest post up at Seek Your Course!  Here’s an excerpt. Click through for the whole thing!

Maybe you have stories, images, melodies piling up just waiting for your attention, waiting to be made …or maybe your creative dreams come and tap at the window like rain at 3am and vanish by morning…. Ideas and plans and project concepts pile up like laundry, and there’s just no time, no time to DO anything.

Or maybe your creative dream, your creative self, got lost in the thick of living. And suddenly, there is some pull, some quiet whisper, saying “come back“. And you’re thinking: When? How?

Oh, sweet soul, you are so not alone.  Read more…..

home

Home.

In the space between that word and these, maybe images came up, maybe memories, maybe expectations, maybe longing, maybe sadness, maybe joy, maybe love, maybe heartbreak, maybe hope….

I have made home in a small cabin, in a beautiful open house, in a cow barn, in a maple tree. I have made home in a small blue honda. I have made home on a hill top, in a trout stream, in a room filled with light….

I realize though, hermit crablike, I am not very skilled (yet) at finding home here, inside my own skin.

When I left the beautiful open house, I got a locket that said home inside it, so I could wear it close to my heart.  I can’t, of course, because it brings a longing that is too sharp for something *out there*.  But the intention was to have home with me.  As if it wasn’t already. As if it isn’t already.

Home to me is a comfortableness, an ease, a familiarity, a rightness, an ahhhhhhh. It is a wild tangled messy beauty. It is books that are not piled straight, and dishes that hold tea or strawberries, it is a plant that trails down and reaches toward light, it is in the cat aligned in the slice of sunshine that runs across the floor… it is in the twinkle lights not hung carefully around my window, it is in the smell of baking, vanilla, brown sugar….

What if, in this longing, I turn to myself, inward.  Look for the comfortableness, the ease, the familiarity, the rightness, what if I look to my own heart for the word home, to my own skin in sunshine, my own letting go and reaching toward the light.

What happened in that space for you?

And how can you bring more of that into your everyday awareness. What do you carry with you that you can access right now?

strengths

Loving this definition of “strength”:

A strength is “an activity that makes you feel strong.” It is an activity where the doing of it invigorates you. Before you do it, you find yourself instinctively looking forward to it. While you are doing it you don’t struggle to concentrate, but instead you become so immersed that time speeds up and you lose yourself in the present moment. And after you are finished doing it, you feel authentic, connected to the best parts of who you really are.

Marcus Buckingham

This gem came via my friend beloved Karen, from an article written by Sonia Simone over at Copybogger.

(PS: only a month left for early bird pricing for the October Women’s Retreat!)

cloth we’re cut from

I guess I imagined gossamer curtains. Sunlight dappling in. A breeze, lifting, billowing, creating magical shadows. I imagined a softness, a drape. I imagined spilling language like this.

Instead, I am burlap and worn velvet ribbon. In some places I am thicker, and hold a crease. I abrade a bit when rubbed too hard. I am an excellent foundation for paint and glue.  My weave is loose enough to let light through, and deep enough to create my own shadows. I am strong enough to hold stones, to taunt scissors. I offer a different kind of fabric, or, maybe, different kinds of fabric. A crazy quilt, but one that lets light pass.  This part worn smooth like an ancient pillow case.  This part rough and new.

And while I can envy other lightness all I want,  I can say yes to the words that roll so deliciously into my head, across my mind’s tongue, it is my lightness that I have and have to offer. This thread, this ribbon, this softness, this heft…

 

Passion, self doubt, beauty, an amazing video

100 Breaths

100 Breaths: Experience the power of micro-meditation

Meditation can seem mystifying and mystical…  The benefits unattainable or something that can only be attained after years of practice and patience and… well…real life (for many of us) does not include easy access to that sort of space and time.

In the same way as nearly almost any other thing worth doing (even loving and allowing ourselves to be loved), practice does indeed help. But here’s a secret: hardcore intense practice is not necessary for you to experience some very real benefits of meditation. You can do it right now. No kidding.

Ready? Don’t overthink this, just give it a go- no preparation is required.

Simply watch your next breath come in and release.

Don’t try to change your breath, or force it, or hold it, or prolong it or even examine it. Just witness it. One breath, in and out.

Try witnessing two breaths. Breathe in. Then Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Just witness, don’t change anything except your attention.

 

Things that help:  Closing my eyes often helps me focus, but I just as often practice this with my eyes wide open.

For some of you, it may help to listen or hear yourself count (“1”, “2”, or say “inhale, exhale”). For some of you it will help to watch each number float in during the inhale, and float away during the exhale. For some, feeling your way around a string of beads or knots will help.

 

Mind wandering? Getting lost? If you lose track, don’t panic. Just begin again at some number near where you think you left off to go wandering.

I find that I often exhale, yawn, or sigh around breath #9.

When I find my mind has wandered off (and it always does), I just bring it back to witnessing my breath, choose a number close to where I think I wandered off… and just simply come back to counting.

A gentle invitation: Today (right now?), start with one breath or two. See if you feel some unraveling, some release, or maybe a moment of unexpected quiet.

Next time, try witnessing ten breaths.

Each time you return to this practice, add a few more breaths—maybe 5 or 10… By the time you reach 100 breaths? Congratulations! You will be doing 10-15 minutes of mystification-free meditation.

Here’s a link to a downloadable version of the piece.

And here is a link to an audio file.

 

copyright 2013, Kate Johnson

http://www.kate-johnson.com

Evolution

Evolution is such a funny thing. Sometimes it takes *work* and effort and intention, and sometimes it is as if it is more about momentum.

It is about openness.

It is about saying, ok, I’m ready. Even if you are not quite 100% ready, or want to have a more complete vision, or want to know (somehow) that the outcome will be positive, or something you can handle…

So I’ve said, ok, I’m ready, and then I said it again, and at a different point, I’ve said it again.  And again.  So I guess it is already about re-stating readiness. Yes, I am ready. Often scared, often unknowing, but ready.

Ready enough.

***

In totally related news, I’ve updated the Retreat page, so please stop by for more information about the luscious upcoming retreat in October.

I’m also very excited to share that I’ve been selected to contribute guest posts to Seek Your Course!

And personally, I’m totally thrilled to be in such great company under the WHOO HOO!!! umbrella designation of “Creative Influencers”.  Hot damn.

Less, not more

If you’re like me, there’s a tendency to pack more in.  More things, more activities, more obligations, more things on the to do list, more things stacking up, piling up, more more more more more

More wants, more shoulds…..

A recent near miss with an injury that could have been an INJURY made me realize this: sometimes less is more.

I had plans this week, big plans. Happy plans. Plans to go and do and take part. Plans to travel and meet and learn. My plans now include being at home, sitting more still than I expected, leg up or still, busy with healing not striving.

What if, instead of MORE MORE MORE, we took on the mantle of decluttering our todo lists, and said, what can we do less of today? What can I take off my plate? How can I simplify my plan this week? Today? This next hour?  What quiet can I allow? What silence? What stillness? What space?

I do my best thinking when I have space to do it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How about you?

longing and fear

In a recent coaching conversation with my amazing coach Lorraine, the TRUTH that longing and fear are intimate bedfellows came up, BLAM, like stepping on a hoe.

This makes sense, of course, out there (imagine hands waving out in front of me), but as in so many situations, it is hard to see how it makes sense in here (thumb at sternum), right here. HERE. With me.

So, first I invite you to reconnect with fear for a moment.  Check out my free fear journaling prompt. 

And then, take a look– is longing hiding under any of that fear?

Or, perhaps better asked, how much longing is hiding under that fear?

What can that longing teach you about what you might deeply deeply want to create for yourself?

What can your fear teach you about how you might be holding yourself back?

Just for a few breaths, check out your own relationship with fear and longing. Remember, you don’t have to do or change anything, you know, unless you want to. 

(baby steps, baby… baby steps).