Campfire: Shoulds and Self-Compassion

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I am not sure anything is more beautiful than long shadows on snow.  The sky is an insane blue today, so clear, and the sun is low but warm. And I have needed to *make myself pay attention*, get out of my own way, notice the beauty that is right there, right outside my window.

I am trying hard not to feel pulled down by my shoulds.

Should be able to make the time to try the pastels like I said I would.

Should be able to figure out how to combine my new 3 chords into a song before the campfire is over.

Should be able to make space for creativity.

The fact is, shoulds seize me up and make me rigid and fragile. I lose my flow, my flexibility, and my joy.  Does this happen to you too?

I get caught up in the current of self talk and resistance, and miss the opportunities that DO arise.

We’re mid way through the second day of this workshop. Maybe you’ve had time to do some exploration, maybe not. Maybe you have stumbled on some new things simply by being open to the idea, even if you did not have a plan, or even if you thought you did not have room. Maybe you had a plan, and then ate loads of cookies instead and read Harry Potter.

This I know: Eschew the shoulds and should’ves.  They’ll suck your life force, your creative force, your ability to see opportunities, your ability to adapt….

Shoulds are like driving looking in the rear view mirror, looking for what could have been, not what could be. Not a great way to navigate!

So, here’s an invitation as we move through the afternoon toward closing campfire (around 7 ET):  Be open.

Just that, be open to opportunities. Don’t get mired in what you meant to do or what you hoped to do, or what you expected to do. Give yourself some room to see what happens! I’ll try too!

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About Kate

... recognizing there is beauty and value in mended things. www.kate-johnson.com I also blog about parenting after infertility at www.icantwhistle.com
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One Response to Campfire: Shoulds and Self-Compassion

  1. Dara says:

    The should’s and should not’s. Waste of time for sure. I can’t say I will get any creative work done today, nor the other days during the Heartwarm campfire ~ so ‘all ‘ give yourself credit for experimenting with new musical instruments,art projects etc…. Meanwhile, enjoying watching the animals and kiddo in the snow.and trying to be good with it.I hope you can be too,Kate and all!
    Dara

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